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[all laughing] solo demo

by everyone knows you're high.

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Matthew Ludovici
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about

recorded on my uncle's guitar; he passed away several years ago. he purposefully overdosed in his apartment after a life-long battle with mental illness and addiction. when my family went to england to go through his house, it was beyond even my own definitions of surreal: he had developed a hoarding tendency... piles of sweaters overlaid by mountains of old water bottles, swimming ambiguously between suitcases, bicycles, empty and full cigarette packs. his living room was hardly cleaned up since his body was removed... there were still packs of the painkillers he used strewn about, some still full (many not). this song is not about that day, but it's something i've always wanted to write about. i hope it does his guitar some justice.

lyrics

i just let it all build up
until my mind has had enough
i let myself get ahead
i let myself get in the way
but mostly i just laugh
at every inconsequential paragraph
and movement is a paradox
but i still can't find a clean pair of socks
my patience is on the mend
at least death's behind the front door when i come home.
every step affects my own
it's always different
but it's hard to tell if i'm actually alone.
these days i filter some things out
keeping track of all of the amounts
and nothing can accumulate
these shallows just reiterate every time
i just let it all build up
until my mind has had enough
and sometimes, i just feel depleted.
there's a lack of worth
but i think i'm gonna keep it
i just let it all build up
and now my mind has had enough.
can i come home?

credits

released September 24, 2015

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everyone knows you're high. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

bad music.
thank you for taking your time to listen. you could be doing anything else.

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